DGray Interview
by SwiftFeather
Summary: Each chapter, we have a different interviewview with different characters and different interviewers! Reader's discretion advised. Lenalee haters look here. Yullen Lovers look here also. ANTI LENAxALLEN and I LOVE YULLEN WARNINGS. DON'T FLAME THANK YOU
1. Allen Walker

**NOW WE'RE INTERVIEWING Allen Walker. Firstly, I'll now say that ME, who is Mr. Feather, will be the person who is interviewing the other person. Okay, enough with the crap, I don't wanna waste time here.**

**SwiftFeather speaking.**

**_SwiftFeather thinking._**

Allen Walker speaking

_Allen Walker thinking_

( Things from third person's view )

( Allen Walker and Swift Feather are sitting in the room. Yes... a room that looks like Lenalee's room that Komui made for her, but it was full of SwiftFeather's pictures. strange.)

**SF: Okkkkaaay, Mr... Runner.**

AW: Its... uh, Walker.

**Right. Mr Walker. Not Jogger Hopper or anything, right?**

Yes.

(At this point, Allen already feels weird.)

**Okay, Mr. Crawler, I mean, Walker...**

Just call me, uh, Allen, Mr Rock.

**Its Feather!**

NOW YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS RIGHT?! MR... HARD ROCK?!

**Okay! cut the jokes and we're into it Peter!**

... _Peter..._

**Firstly, why did you become an Exorcist? _Not like I want to know..._**

Uh, well... I wanted to become and Exorcist c-

**OH that's the best answer I've ever heard. Thank you and that concludes our interview.**

_WHHHHHHHAA?! I haven't ever answered anything! What kind of interview is this?!_

**Joking. I was not going to ask you that question, James. hahahaha. That question I wanted to ask you was: DO YOU LIKE LENALEE?!**

_James... WHAWHA?! LENALEE?!_

No, of course not. She's just a friend... and I can't get full with only coffee if I married her. I want to marry someone like Jerry.

**I didn't know you wanted to marry Jerry.**

I said someone LIKE Jerry, I MEAN, NOT ON THE APPEARANCE!! I mean that is you see

**Yeah, I get it... don't worry.**

Great. _YOU STILL DIDN'T GET MY NAME, HOW YOU YOU EVEn GET LOGIC??_

( At this point of time, SwiftFeather's mother comes in.)

MOM: SWIFT! YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE AND STUDY FOR YOUR EXAMS! 

**M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m...**

-om? Are you SwiftFeather's Mom?

Yes, obviously. Who the hell are you, what are you doing in Swift's room?

Uh... we're conducting an interview. With me.

Really? For your school project?

**No. For Fan-service.**

I see. That is for you or this old man here?

_Old MAN?! -vein pops-_

**This old man here.**

_-more vein pops-_

Then I'll just get outta here. 

(Mom exits.)

**Great, she's gone. Hey Derek. Are you okay there?? Hmmm?**

I... am fine.

**Okay, enough extra stuff. We're going into our interview, Johnny!**

_I got a feeling this guy's related to Lavi of somesort... am I ending up like Chomesuke? Oh wait? Who the hell is Chomesue? Why does this random name suddenly pop into my head? I must have gone nuts after staying in the same room too long with this nut case Feather guy._

**Okay now. Let me ask you, Larry. Tell the fans what you think about Kanda. **

( Swift gives a I LOVE YULLEN look. )

(Not wanting to disappoint Yullen fans, Allen coughed and answered.)

He's great.

**ONLY GREAT?!**

He's... fantastic.

**ONLLLLLLY FANTASTIC?!**

He's... sexy...

(At this point, Allen coughs and gasped like having an asthma attack.)

**OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ALLEN!! YOU ROCK!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT. ALLEN, THIS SENTENCE YOU JUST SAID IS HISTORY!! NO! IT WILL BE A HISTORY THAT WILL RENACT!!**

_He finally got my name right..._

Uh, yes... -cough cough-

**Are you okay, Allen?**

**SOMEBODY GET AN AMBULANCE! ALLEN JUST VOMITED AND FAINTED!!**

( Allen lies on the ground with a pile of vomit beside him. And thus, this interview comes to nothing with the stupid worthless reporter Swift feather.)

NEXT TIME:

**WE'LL BE INTERVIEWING KANDA YUU!**

**AND... Xen Dae will be our person who interviews the other person!!**

**NOTE: Xen Dae was originally a character from MY newest Manga, God-Mode. But both the titles and his name had changed to:**

**Caducoceus-Kraysten Saroyan**

**and my Manga had been changed to:**

**Compass.Heart**

**Check out my yahoo group Compass.Heart!**


	2. Kanda Yuu

**D.Gray-Interview. **

**Interviewer: Xen Dae (In bold)**

**Interviewee: Kanda Yuu. (Normal text)**

**Thoughts are in italic. **

**Actions are bracketed.**

Hajime.

* * *

**Xen: Hello Kanda.**

Kanda: ... (Makes a strange grunting sound)

**Okay. Today, we're interviewing MR Kanda Yuu. Last time, we had MR Allen Walker. let's see what MR Yuu has to say.**

...

**Nothing, I suppose. Okay then, Mr Yuu, what did you think of Mr Walker's statement last time?**

... (mutters something about 'hating beansprout')

**... If you're not going to talk, the fans won't be pleased.**

...I find it stupid.

**You mean the 'mom comes in' part?**

... No.I mean yes, that too.

**Or issit... the smexy part?**

(Gets tense.) What? (Being indifferent.)

**The smexy part. I mean, the part where Allen says: "I think Kanda is... sexy."**

... I have no idea what to say and this is wasting my time. I do not do fan-

**... (Vein pops) I am asking you a question, MR Yuu.**

Uh? So? I answered it. I said no idea.

**(to the crew members outside) Break it.**

(Frowns) Break... what?

**(Xen's eyes goes down to Kanda's belt.)**

(Kanda looks. Mugen is gone.) What the...?! What did you do to my Mugen?! Are you breaking it?!

**Say "Allen is Smexy."**

NO! Give me back Mugen!

**I know what you did in 'Doll's Memories'. If you don't say that three words right now, I am going to break Mugen and I am going to tell everyone out there what you did to poor memoryless Allen Walker in Chapter 7 of SwiftFeather's Doll's Memory!**

What?! Is that supposed to be a threat, you... you another manga's character!

**If you didn't know, my manga was cancelled by that idiotic author and he's freakin' changed me for a worthless, blackhaired guy called Len Kuroda for her stupid new manga that he had finished 27 pages of sketches and prepared to be published next year, soI am in a really bad mood!**

(Awkward Silence)

... Fine... Allen is S--Y. There, i said it.

**(frowns) What? I didn't catch it.**

Allen is S--Y! Ther- ... Eh? Something's... weird.

**...? I don't understand BEEP-BEEP. Or at that instant.**

S--Y. s--y. S--Y.

**... what are you trying to do?**

There's some unseen force preventing me from saying the word somehow.

**Smexy. What's wrong? I could say it.**

S--Y!!

(Silence)

KANDA:_**ALLEN IS DAH SEXXXX!!**_

**O.O ...**

...

ALL THE CREW OUTSIDE HOLDING MUGEN: O.o ...

... I didn't say that, I swear. (backs off)

**Did you just say... Allen is dah sexxxx?**

-GUUUUWWWWAAAAH!! (goes crazy)

Allen: KANDA! I HEARD IT LIVE!! (bursts through the door and leaps on Kanda and huggles him tight) You think i am dah sexxx? I said you were sexy!

(Stunned look.) Guh?

**... Allen, this place is out of bounds.**

Allen: No its not.

**Yes it is.**

Allen: No its-

(Huggles Allen) Beansprout.

**...! I think I better leave them alone. Until next time... (Leaves) _Sigh, my last time ever to show up on the net, or anywhere in SF's mind..._**

_ALLEN: This is heavenly..._

_This sucks. I hate fanservice. I hate everyone. Maybe... except beansprout._

* * *

This is real boring interview because the interviewer and interviewee simply have no sense of humour. But next time, we'll invite two people of the same level of humour (about).

Interviewer: Edward Elric

Interviewee: The Millenium Earl


	3. Millenium Earl

**-Interview. **

**Interviewer: Edward Elric ****(In bold)**

**Interviewee: Millenium Earl (Normal text)**

**Thoughts are in italic. **

**Actions are bracketed.**

Hajime.

* * *

**Edward: Eh... hey everyone. This is Fullmetal here... I have no idea why I am here, though.**

Earl: Oh, Edward-kun. How are you? You're small as ever, are you?

**WHO ARE YOU CALLING 90&(U&*&IH SMALL *#&*(^#(&*^!&( TINY #*(&!*(&#!(*& MINISCULE *(&(*!&(*&(*! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!????**

...

**Are you Gluttony?**

I am the Earl of the Millenium, Edward-kun.

**Earl...? Right, we only have mayors, and stupid Lieutaniets that manage the towns. And Majors, and Alchemy.**

...Alchemy? I only have piano.

**Wow, I can't play, you know? Because of this (Shows automail hand).**

Awww, that's sad, Edward-kun. Why did that happen?

**Because I... uh, tried to bring my mom back to life.**

(sniggers) Was it... my fault? Hehehehe.... Is she an akuma now?

**.... No. It was me and my bro's fault. AND SHE'S NOT AN AKUMA. (glares)**

Darn. I must've missed you out somehow... I can't visit everyone everytime... so busy busy...

**...Eh, ok. Enough about all these. So, what do you do?**

Turn people into akuma.

**What the...? Is it like Human transmutation?**

What's that??????

**Uh, its like, put all these 28 and more elements into a big tub, and ffzzzz electricity and boom, a human pops out? **

Oh, mine is something like, find someone crying, create a StickFas figure like thingo with a star on its forhead, and then tell that person crying to scream, fzzzzzzzzz electricity and boom, and the StickFas pops INTO the human.

**.... eww. Maybe I'd give that a try. Does it work?**

Yeah, the soul comes back. I heard you only lack the soul.

**(Silence) (Runs to transmute mother again) TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHAAAAA!!**

_SFX: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!_

_(StickFAs figurine come down and bright flash, Trisha's name written on the forehead.)_

(Awkward Silence)

Trisha, kill Edward.

**(Is feeling agonised) I failed again! Am I going to see the Truth?**

You're going to see the Truth alright.

**REALLY?! OMG!!!**

Stop that. Its annoying the hell out of me.

**... then why are you still grinning?**

Senen ko wa sagashitteru  
Daijino hearto sagashitteru  
Anata wa atari sashitameyo  
Daijino hearto sagashiteru~

**Uh, kay..... wrong song, i think.**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, who lives in the pineapple-

(Silence)

**Still wrong.**

**Trisha: EEEEEEDDDD-WAAAARD..........**

**MOOOM! AGH! So horrible! She's trapped in plastic! Its even more horrendous than Human transmutation!**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

**AAAAAAAAAAAA****AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!**

**(FROM THE NEXT ROOM...)**

Kanda: GET ON WITH IT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CONDUCTION AN INTERVIEW - WHAT IS THIS, SOAP OPERA?!

Allen: Kanda, don't be so mean. The Earl is having some fun with a prey from another anime.

Kanda: Mumbles.

_I am sad to announced that Edward Elric has become an akuma. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING HIM SHORT BECAUSE -_

_...... (Dead Silence from SwiftFeather....) _

**MWHAHAHAHAAHA.... (Creepy laugh from Ed)**

* * *

Hmmm... the next would be rather interesting.... heh heh heh heh.... YAOI LOVERS ALERT!

Interviewer: Usami Akihiko (Junjou Romantica)

Interviewee: Lavi Bookman


End file.
